Singapore, Dec 25 2011
It’s Christmas again!
I reflect on the day God sent His only son to die for our sins and how Mother Mary carried Jesus and gave birth to Him.
Only all mothers will be able to understand why and how Mother Mary will go through such extent to risk her life to protect her son!
She was self-sacrificing not only as a mother but also as an obedient child of God.
Thank you God for giving us our Savior so that the world can rejoice and celebrate this beautiful day of Christmas!
I am glad to be home this time especially with Christy. She has stayed with me in Manila for about two weeks during her holidays. Despite her rude attitude and behavior, I always look forward to having her with me. No matter how hurtful her behavior is towards me, I will always forgive her as she is my child. The day before we return to Singapore, I was surprised when she apologized for her rude behavior. I have not expected it and that’s the best Christmas present I have this year.
Now I can understand how God can be so forgiving of us no matter how sinful we are as long as we ask Him to forgive us.
I know it will take a while for Christy to go through this adolescence stage and I believe our God is merciful and that He will guide and watch over her both now and forevermore.
I wish I have all the time in this world to write but somehow I just cannot manage to spare the time. Having Blackberry (BB) is like a 24-hour work life. I only logged out from BB when I hit the bed at night. I am so caught up with work that I again felt the distance from God especially the last quarter of the year.
There’s so much to write about my time in Philippines but somehow, I am just so occupied here. People usually ask what I do during weekends. My usual reply would be going out on Saturday with friends or colleagues, and on Sundays, going to church followed by lunch and tea with some friends, then home.
As I only have part-time helper when she is available, my home is quite messy most of the times especially living in a condo-unit where all hanging of clothes can only be done inside the unit and not in the balcony. People only go for outward beauty and not the practical side of life when making such rules. I don’t see why hanging of clothes in balcony can be an eye-sore. In fact, if they see from another perspective, they can be colorful and interesting!
This year, I finally found an artist to paint the "Visions of Christ” and am so glad that I managed to post the painting in my blog. Last year, I dreamt of “End of the World” sign and the artist also painted it. I am still trying to get a better photo of it to post it in my blog.
Philippines is indeed another eye-opener. There are so many talented people especially with artistic and music talents but they don’t make enough to support their families. Most of these talented people also struggle especially to send their children to university. They tend to depend on their family members working overseas (Overseas Fiilipino Workers – OFW) to support their children’s education. The rich and poor gap is widening but unfortunately, it’s true in most countries, where money makes money.
This country is majority Catholics. They believe in Christ yet there are so many single parents here. In Singapore, if you are a single unmarried parent, it’s rare but here it’s common. It seems that God has placed me in the right country to really understand how a single parent’s life can be.
Pinoys graduate earlier by at least two years compared to most countries as they go to University after Year 10 instead of after Year 12 or in some cases, Year 13. Most of them go to University at age 16 and in some cases, 15 if they start school early. The government is not rich to extend studying to Years 11 & 12. Due to this, they start work early in their life.
I am wondering if one of the contributing factors of them marrying young could also be due to the young age of going to University. The ladies here tend to marry in their early 20s. They would become pregnant immediately and become parents soon after as Catholic teachings here forbid artificial contraception. I heard that in the provinces, the ladies become mothers even younger before 20s.
No wonder this place is also sprouted with many Non-government Organizations (NGO) as there are so many orphaned children and abused women in shelters here.
This country also has a lot of history, and many varied cultures, ranging from Spanish, American, Filipino, Malay, etc. There are many beautiful ancient churches and nice beaches like Boracay and Palawan. Unfortunately the country is situated along the ring of fire and has suffered many earthquake disasters yet the people here are generally happy go lucky as they have faith in God which gives them a hope.
This is the only country I heard that Christmas is celebrated from the “ber” months, i.e. from September. I’m glad God placed me here to refresh my spiritual life.
I had made a resolution beginning this year to read the whole Bible again in a year and it’s about another week that I will finish reading the Bible.
I had written an article a day before Easter this year and have also attached here.
May I wish all of you, “ A Merry Christmas & A Blessed New Year!”
With warmest regards,
Regine
Manila, Philippines, Apr 23, 2011
Tomorrow will be Easter Sunday, the anniversary of the resurrection of Christ.
I’ve been in Manila for 15 months now. Work wise is more problematic than my other years.
Not sure if it’s because I’m getting older in age? I kept asking God why He opens the door here for me and my separation from Christy. Now I know why? Our gracious God is giving me another chance to repent and return.
When I came here last year, I start worshipping at Victory Fort. It’s a dynamic vibrant church.
On my 1st visit to the church, the music was too loud for me but it was the Bible-centered message that kept me going back. Now I am totally immersed with the music and the worship.
This church believes in volunteers – same like Grace Baptist but they have hundreds of volunteers; some serving since the church was founded in the early 80s. There is never short of volunteers that my ushering service is only required on 1 service on Sunday and on even months.
I have also completed a few seminars organized by the church: “One to One”; “Victory Weekend”; and “Making Disciples” and am in a small group meeting Monday evenings.
After “Victory Weekend” seminar, I came home to do the homework on “The Purple Book” Biblical Foundations for Building Strong Disciples. It was then that I read Genesis again.
I thought I know Genesis all the time but it was only while doing the homework, I read it in a different light. I shared with a number of Catholics and Christians here but those I shared with do not interpret it the same light as me until I pointed to them.
I thought there was only one light all the time but there is more than one light.
Genesis 1 vs 1 to 14
1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.
Is this the heavenly light? I believe it is.
I saw following "Visions of Christ" - 7 visions at hospital when I was 5 weeks pregnant and almost died.
(1) Christ standing with open arms;
(2) Christ standing in the water;
(3) Christ climbing the mountain;
(4) Christ squatting down and flocks of white sheep going towards Him
(5) Lady carrying an infant;
(6) Angels with wings flying;
(7) Christ came back and slowly faded.
All these visions are in bright white light and I could gaze at them unlike sunlight. After the visions, I have this peace which saves Christy and my life. I felt totally born again. My mind was so clear and my 39.5 degree fever for 5 days suddenly subsided and I was healed.
All the time, I thought we only have one light, the sunlight but there is another light, the Heavenly Light.
6 And God said, “Let there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water.” 7 So God made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. And it was so. 8 God called the vault “sky.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.
It’s true there is water in heaven as I saw the water in the 2nd vision.
9 And God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear.” And it was so. 10 God called the dry ground “land,” and the gathered waters he called “seas.” And God saw that it was good.
11 Then God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was so. 12 The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.
13 And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day. 14 And God said, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth.” And it was so.
16 God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. 17 God set them in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth, 18 to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.
The 4th day is the creation of the universe with sunlight, stars, etc.
I find that I am reading the Bible with a different light now after I re-commit my life back to Him.
Our God is so gracious. His plan is perfect for me to repent and return to Him! Thank you God for your grace and mercy!
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
The Moment of Truth!
I felt strange within me
Pee more than normal
My cycle was overdue
Went to shop for a kit
To do the test
Lo and behold
The mark turned blue
I couldn’t believe it!
At age 40, my 1st and only.
The joy I had at that moment
Was indescribable
It was unbelievable!
I had to travel for a week
Day by day I lost my appetite
Slur in speech
Thought it was morning sickness
Good friend arranged for me
A room in the hospital
All alone by myself
Staring at the big 40 on the wall
In the hospital, many blood tests taken
Lying helpless for 5 days and 5 nights
Shivering cold then fire with fever
A temperature of 39.5C
Didn’t know who to ask for help
Cos I only prayed to idols at temples then
But I could feel
A strange Protection over us
All I know then was to pat my 5-week foetus
In my tummy, telling her “Do not fear”
It was the decision I have to make
I want my child!
On the 3rd night in hospital, lying in bed
I saw some Caucasian spirits
I made a distant call to your mum2
She reminded me to pray to Christ.
When I put down the phone, the spirits came again
I prayed: “Get away Satan, Jesus Christ is here!”
They disappeared quickly
Exhausted, I fell into a deep sleep
Next day, your mum2 arrived
She saw me shivering
She put a tiny piece of raisin bread into my mouth
My shiver stopped since!
On the 5th morning, I saw something
That changed my whole life
The 7 visions with Christ in bright white light!
Instantly I prayed:
“Thank you God for forgiving my sins and taking me back.
You are so wonderful to give me another chance.
My child and I accept you
As our Saviour from this very moment.”
I could feel his presence
My right hand kept raising automatically towards Him
I experienced a complete peace all over me
I have recovered.
Child, I know you’ll be well
Christ will protect and guide you, Christy
He has created you 14 years ago
For His purpose!
Happy Birthday dear!
May God’s grace be with you!
May He continue to protect you both now and forevermore!
Love & kisses,
Mummy
Pee more than normal
My cycle was overdue
Went to shop for a kit
To do the test
Lo and behold
The mark turned blue
I couldn’t believe it!
At age 40, my 1st and only.
The joy I had at that moment
Was indescribable
It was unbelievable!
I had to travel for a week
Day by day I lost my appetite
Slur in speech
Thought it was morning sickness
Good friend arranged for me
A room in the hospital
All alone by myself
Staring at the big 40 on the wall
In the hospital, many blood tests taken
Lying helpless for 5 days and 5 nights
Shivering cold then fire with fever
A temperature of 39.5C
Didn’t know who to ask for help
Cos I only prayed to idols at temples then
But I could feel
A strange Protection over us
All I know then was to pat my 5-week foetus
In my tummy, telling her “Do not fear”
It was the decision I have to make
I want my child!
On the 3rd night in hospital, lying in bed
I saw some Caucasian spirits
I made a distant call to your mum2
She reminded me to pray to Christ.
When I put down the phone, the spirits came again
I prayed: “Get away Satan, Jesus Christ is here!”
They disappeared quickly
Exhausted, I fell into a deep sleep
Next day, your mum2 arrived
She saw me shivering
She put a tiny piece of raisin bread into my mouth
My shiver stopped since!
On the 5th morning, I saw something
That changed my whole life
The 7 visions with Christ in bright white light!
Instantly I prayed:
“Thank you God for forgiving my sins and taking me back.
You are so wonderful to give me another chance.
My child and I accept you
As our Saviour from this very moment.”
I could feel his presence
My right hand kept raising automatically towards Him
I experienced a complete peace all over me
I have recovered.
Child, I know you’ll be well
Christ will protect and guide you, Christy
He has created you 14 years ago
For His purpose!
Happy Birthday dear!
May God’s grace be with you!
May He continue to protect you both now and forevermore!
Love & kisses,
Mummy
Greetings from Manila!
It’s been a year since I have started my job here.
I am glad we are having 4 days of holiday here (Dec 24 to 27). This means I receive less emails at work so that I can read and housekeep my emails of past weeks and at the same time to write and reply some long overdue emails.
Somehow, when I arrived here this year, I was immediately swarmed with work. I’ve been extremely quiet and not writing as much and as prompt as I would like to since a normal day in office is usually meetings and resolution of issues. Email reading and writing takes back seat which is usually left after office hours and weekends except for the urgent ones. I have come to the point that if there is anything urgent and no reply from me, it’s better to ring me as I may have not read the email.
Now with the holidays here, I know most of our email boxes and mobiles will be crowded with “Greetings” emails. Usually, I cannot find time opening any “Greetings” emails with e-card link since they take a long while to open or they just get stuck with the not so reliable internet at my home that I just gave up reading any email greeting with e-card link.
Email is a great innovation and has changed the way we communicate but if not used properly, I believe it just wears out our time by having to open, read, and delete (housekeep) them.
Health-wise is not a good start for me this year. In less than a month of my arrival, I had two injuries. One was when I was invited to a badminton game. I forgot I was no longer young and started to jump up to do a smash that hurt my right knee when I landed. The next few weeks at work was just limping away, especially climbing up the stairs to my office located on the 2nd storey.
As my knee had just started to recover, I was invited to join Customer Service department for their fun evening at the concrete car park behind the office building. They were playing this game called “Touch Ball”. I have not played this game before so when I was passed the ball, instead of just throwing the ball, I also threw myself together with the ball that I had a fall on the ground which hurt my right knee again and both of my elbows. The scars on my knee and my elbows still remind me of the fall.
However I am glad that despite the long hours of work, I am still able to reserve Sunday mornings for church which is nearby home. I was introduced to the church by an ex-colleague of mine from Germany. She and her husband left Manila six months before my arrival.
I am enjoying the church service here as the message is bible-centered. At first, when I attended the service, I didn’t like the loud music but it was the bible-centered message that touched me and made me goes back to the church so I decided to find a place to stay nearby the church.
I was about to sign the lease for an apartment which is not within walking distance from the church but just as I was about to sign the lease on same day, another real-estate agent called and said an apartment nearby church is available and at the price within my range. It’s so amazing how God provides as apartments in this condominium at my price range are rare but somehow the apartment is available with a much reduced price and within my range!
Two months ago, a church member invited me to join her for an 8-week “Life’s Healing Choices” study video by Rick Warren every Monday evening. The last 8th session ended last week just in time for Christmas celebration! God is indeed great to lead me to this study. I was glad that I committed to it and have learned a lot from the sessions besides growing spiritually and building friendship with the group.
Christy came over here for 2 weeks. She left 2 days before Christmas for Singapore as she misses her friends especially her ex-classmates whom she has already made appointments to go out during their holidays. I had been taking some days off since she was here. We did not go anywhere as she just wanted to stay home so we spent more time at home together. She played and watched movies on her computer whole day while I just continued to work on my computer at home. What a holiday but somehow she prefers it this way than sightseeing.
Yesterday Christmas Eve, I had lunch with my colleague and invited her to my church for Christmas service at 7:00pm. After that, we went to Santuario de San Antonio, a Catholic church for Christmas Eve mass at 10:00pm as she is a Catholic. The sound of the organ and the full string orchestra at the Catholic Church is so splendid. The musicians and the choir members are made up of elderly people. From their movement and faces, they look like 60s to 80s. Even the lady conductor is elderly.
It’s so amazing to watch an orchestra of elderly ladies wearing beautiful golden gowns and men in their golden barongs. It’s an inspirational experience to watch these elderly people singing with joy from their lit-up faces. My colleague was telling me that most of these elderly ladies are mestizas. No wonder they look so graceful and beautiful!
Pinoys usually spent their Christmases with families. I am home alone today but somehow, I do not feel lonely as I can sink my thought into writing this letter.
I thought that I could finish this letter before lunch today but the same colleague whom I was with on Christmas Eve just text me to join her for lunch at a Chinese restaurant. By the time we reached there was about 4:00pm and we had a fabulous lunch cum dinner.
I haven’t had a Chinese meal for ages. Usually, it’s bread, pizza, spaghetti, Western, or Japanese cuisine. When I thought that I will be alone on Christmas Day but somehow, God is so gracious to provide the companionship and a nice Chinese meal.
After the meal, my colleague asked me to join her family to view the Christmas lights but knowing that I have to finish this letter, I decided to view it another day since the Christmas lights will be on until the new year.
Well, I am glad to return home to finish this letter otherwise I may not get to complete it since my day will be quite packed tomorrow with church service and thereafter to attend a birthday party of a colleague’s child. Most Pinoys are fun loving. They love to celebrate for almost every type of occasion.
There is so much to write about the year but I should pen off now otherwise this greeting will arrive late.
May I wish each and every one of you, “Merry Christmas & A Happy 2011”!
With warmest regards,
Regine Chua
Christmas 2010
I am glad we are having 4 days of holiday here (Dec 24 to 27). This means I receive less emails at work so that I can read and housekeep my emails of past weeks and at the same time to write and reply some long overdue emails.
Somehow, when I arrived here this year, I was immediately swarmed with work. I’ve been extremely quiet and not writing as much and as prompt as I would like to since a normal day in office is usually meetings and resolution of issues. Email reading and writing takes back seat which is usually left after office hours and weekends except for the urgent ones. I have come to the point that if there is anything urgent and no reply from me, it’s better to ring me as I may have not read the email.
Now with the holidays here, I know most of our email boxes and mobiles will be crowded with “Greetings” emails. Usually, I cannot find time opening any “Greetings” emails with e-card link since they take a long while to open or they just get stuck with the not so reliable internet at my home that I just gave up reading any email greeting with e-card link.
Email is a great innovation and has changed the way we communicate but if not used properly, I believe it just wears out our time by having to open, read, and delete (housekeep) them.
Health-wise is not a good start for me this year. In less than a month of my arrival, I had two injuries. One was when I was invited to a badminton game. I forgot I was no longer young and started to jump up to do a smash that hurt my right knee when I landed. The next few weeks at work was just limping away, especially climbing up the stairs to my office located on the 2nd storey.
As my knee had just started to recover, I was invited to join Customer Service department for their fun evening at the concrete car park behind the office building. They were playing this game called “Touch Ball”. I have not played this game before so when I was passed the ball, instead of just throwing the ball, I also threw myself together with the ball that I had a fall on the ground which hurt my right knee again and both of my elbows. The scars on my knee and my elbows still remind me of the fall.
However I am glad that despite the long hours of work, I am still able to reserve Sunday mornings for church which is nearby home. I was introduced to the church by an ex-colleague of mine from Germany. She and her husband left Manila six months before my arrival.
I am enjoying the church service here as the message is bible-centered. At first, when I attended the service, I didn’t like the loud music but it was the bible-centered message that touched me and made me goes back to the church so I decided to find a place to stay nearby the church.
I was about to sign the lease for an apartment which is not within walking distance from the church but just as I was about to sign the lease on same day, another real-estate agent called and said an apartment nearby church is available and at the price within my range. It’s so amazing how God provides as apartments in this condominium at my price range are rare but somehow the apartment is available with a much reduced price and within my range!
Two months ago, a church member invited me to join her for an 8-week “Life’s Healing Choices” study video by Rick Warren every Monday evening. The last 8th session ended last week just in time for Christmas celebration! God is indeed great to lead me to this study. I was glad that I committed to it and have learned a lot from the sessions besides growing spiritually and building friendship with the group.
Christy came over here for 2 weeks. She left 2 days before Christmas for Singapore as she misses her friends especially her ex-classmates whom she has already made appointments to go out during their holidays. I had been taking some days off since she was here. We did not go anywhere as she just wanted to stay home so we spent more time at home together. She played and watched movies on her computer whole day while I just continued to work on my computer at home. What a holiday but somehow she prefers it this way than sightseeing.
Yesterday Christmas Eve, I had lunch with my colleague and invited her to my church for Christmas service at 7:00pm. After that, we went to Santuario de San Antonio, a Catholic church for Christmas Eve mass at 10:00pm as she is a Catholic. The sound of the organ and the full string orchestra at the Catholic Church is so splendid. The musicians and the choir members are made up of elderly people. From their movement and faces, they look like 60s to 80s. Even the lady conductor is elderly.
It’s so amazing to watch an orchestra of elderly ladies wearing beautiful golden gowns and men in their golden barongs. It’s an inspirational experience to watch these elderly people singing with joy from their lit-up faces. My colleague was telling me that most of these elderly ladies are mestizas. No wonder they look so graceful and beautiful!
Pinoys usually spent their Christmases with families. I am home alone today but somehow, I do not feel lonely as I can sink my thought into writing this letter.
I thought that I could finish this letter before lunch today but the same colleague whom I was with on Christmas Eve just text me to join her for lunch at a Chinese restaurant. By the time we reached there was about 4:00pm and we had a fabulous lunch cum dinner.
I haven’t had a Chinese meal for ages. Usually, it’s bread, pizza, spaghetti, Western, or Japanese cuisine. When I thought that I will be alone on Christmas Day but somehow, God is so gracious to provide the companionship and a nice Chinese meal.
After the meal, my colleague asked me to join her family to view the Christmas lights but knowing that I have to finish this letter, I decided to view it another day since the Christmas lights will be on until the new year.
Well, I am glad to return home to finish this letter otherwise I may not get to complete it since my day will be quite packed tomorrow with church service and thereafter to attend a birthday party of a colleague’s child. Most Pinoys are fun loving. They love to celebrate for almost every type of occasion.
There is so much to write about the year but I should pen off now otherwise this greeting will arrive late.
May I wish each and every one of you, “Merry Christmas & A Happy 2011”!
With warmest regards,
Regine Chua
Christmas 2010
见证
我很荣幸能与你分享我与上帝耶稣的故事。
时间追溯到我的童年，那时我还是一个小学生。我有一位老师，他几乎每周日都会给我讲述耶稣的故事。
在我的童年里，母亲病魔缠身，父亲不得不请来来自中国和马来西亚的灵媒为母亲和全家人驱疾避凶。通常当灵媒来我家时，全家人都会聚集到父母的房间里膜拜。我当时已经接触了神的话语，所以我坚持一个人独自在客厅里向上帝祷告。我的祈祷词是老师教我的：“耶稣在此，撒旦走开！”
由于家庭反对我的信仰，上初中后我热衷于学校的活动，祈祷也就越来越少，我与神渐渐疏远了。直到有一天，我向上帝祷告说除非他现身，否则我不再信仰他。从那时起，我不再每天祈祷，当时我大约13岁。
开始工作后， 我开始崇拜寺庙里的“中国神灵”。
曾有一位过去的同事为工作而困扰，我带她去了一个我常去膜拜的地方——“Waterloo Street Goddess of Mercy”寺庙去拜神。我们到那儿后，我把她介绍给了一个寺庙外面的算命女人，让她安排祈福以保护我的朋友不受外敌侵害。算命女人把我朋友的个人特征写在香纸上递给另一位女灵媒，然后把我们带到寺庙对面的HDB店内祈祷。祈祷的过程就是那个女灵媒点燃香纸，并在口中用中文叨念着乞求神灵让敌人远离我朋友的话。 我的朋友则一直跪在几尊“中国神灵”塑像前祷告。最后，我的朋友还脱了鞋，用鞋打那些香纸， 这个动作意味着“踢走敌人”。我每年的年底都作一次这样的祈祷仪式，因为别人说这叫“还愿”今年的平安，并祈来年继续保护我远离敌人。
我的一个海外朋友乐于寻访拜神的地方。一天我带她走遍了新加坡所有中国的寺庙。碰巧那天是Thaipusam我们就一起去了小印度街的一个印度寺庙观看Thaipusam的一些准备工作。那儿有些男士膜拜者用利器刺穿他们的舌头，面颊和身体，以此来还愿。
有时我会跟我的朋友去Novena教堂祷告，或到另一个基督教堂里参加过朋友的婚礼和洗礼。
一天，我的一个朋友向我宣扬基督教。我还记得当时我是多么不屑一顾的告诉她我对基督
教的了解比她要多，如果她的上帝是万能的，在她升天后请她从天堂扔一个梯子下来好让我爬上去。
在我记忆里，曾有27年我不反对任何人向自己信的神祷告，因为我相信每一个人都可以根据他们自己的习惯向同样的一个神祈祷。
我曾犯下罪，但我却没意识到那是罪。尽管我的良心告诉我这么做不对，但我还是不在乎，而没有一点罪恶感。
事实上， 从我刚满13岁时起，我就已漫无目标。但是以下我将与您分享的事件却改变了我的一生。
这些都发生于我在香港工作的时期。
1997年2月22日，星期六，我带着两个妹妹去香港知名的“Wong Tai Sing”寺庙做祈祷，那时我已经发现我怀孕了（但是我未结婚－这是我犯的一个罪，然而我当时并没有认识到这是一个罪），因此我还乞求我的孩子平安。
1997年2月25 日，星期二，我在首尔感染了病毒，我坚持着做完我的工作。
1997年2月28日，我回到香港。那晚我打电话给我香港唯一的一个朋友，他的妻子恰好在医院工作。我告诉他我的困境，我一天天地在衰弱，没有气力。但是那晚我没有去医院，因为我想不舒服可能是怀孕症状（我第一次怀孕，没有经验），所以我告诉他我能捱到第二天早上。
1997年3月1日，星期六，我住进了香港的一家医院，诊断为病毒感染，高烧39.5C。因为我已有5个星期的身孕，为了保护孩子，我的医生只能给我开最多两份退烧片。由於进食很少，我的左手挂上了点滴以补充能量。能量耗尽，住院期间的最后5天我瘦了5公斤，严重影响了我的胃口和行动，我完全躺在病床上挣扎。
在我住院的第三天早上（刚过午夜），我遇见了一些西方的精灵，这让我迷惑，但仍请求精灵们能帮助我康复，我很想和别人分享这经历，于是我打了一个越洋电话给我一位朋友，但是她却说：“Regine，你应该向神祷告。”
挂了电话后一会儿，同样的西方精灵又出现了，这次，我突然想起了小时候的祷告“耶稣在此，撒旦滚开！”我不断地念着这句话，几分钟后这些精灵消失了，我也精疲力竭马上睡着了。
早上醒来，我已忘了耶稣是怎样帮我摆脱那些精灵。我的病情并未改善，仍然高烧39.5度。
在我住院第五天的第一个小时，发生了改变我一生的事情。我看见了一道明亮的白光变换着不同的场景连续地出现在我眼前：
第一景：耶稣张开双臂站着
第二景：耶稣站在水中
第三景：耶稣在爬山
第四景：耶稣蹲下来，白色的羊群朝他走去
第五景：一个抱着小孩的女士
第六景：挥着翅膀的天使
第七景：耶稣再度出现，慢慢的他的肖像越来越小
这场景是如此的明亮，就像是在天堂。本能地，我认识到耶稣就是真神，我不自觉地从我嘴里念出：“感谢上帝原谅我的罪恶并把我带了回来，你如此伟大再给了我一次机会，从此刻起我和我的孩子将接受您为我们的救主！”
祂始终没有对我说话，但我能感觉到祂的存在，因为我的右手不由自主地向祂伸去。最后我双手合并在胸前，而我的左手还打着点滴。过后，我的全身经历了完全的平静，而这种感觉是过去从未有的，同时我感觉到我已痊愈了。
当护士再次测我体温时，我的体温居然从入院时第一次测量的39.5度下降了，医生和护士都说我奇迹般地痊愈了。我的状态一天天好起来，我告诉医生把我住院登记表中宗教一栏改为“基督教”（在我住院的第一天，我告诉护士写的是“无”）。第十天，我出院了。
我通过老同学加入了Grace Baptist 教堂，同时我也加入了由几个教堂成员组建的Caregroup。1998年，我们学习了一本书《感受上帝》，有一章说到“上帝有祂自己的时间”，我完全同意这一点，因为在我小时候，当我最需要他的时候，他出现回应了我小时候的祷告。
感谢上帝的恩慈，我的病并没有影响到我的女儿，她今年10岁了。在1999年的12月，我把我的经历分享给了一位来自中国的同事，2000年初，她写信告诉我她也信基督了，我真为她感到高兴并把这快乐和另一位基督教同事分享。这位同事问我是不是我把她带入了“罪人祷告”，直到她说起，这已是两年半后我这才明白，且意识到当我看到耶稣的时候，我确实做了“罪人祷告”，接受祂为我的救主。
在2000中国农历新年，我把我的经历跟一位牧师的寡妇分享，她问我：“〈耶稣站在水中〉这个景后是否有一个瀑布？”我喜极而泣，上帝把我带向和我有相同经历的人。她看见这个景很多次，第一次是小时候在教堂，而后很多次是在弹钢琴的时候。她还告诉我耶稣站在水中的场景是耶稣正在洗净我的罪恶，那是我为什么会感到美妙平静的原因。
曾经有一次我分享我的见证时，有人说，她信耶稣但是并不意味着必须去教堂展示出来，她所说的在某些程度上也是对的，因为信仰耶稣的每个人都有他自己和耶稣的独特关系。这不是宗教，我们在任何时间任何地点都可以向他祷告。
我到教堂的原因是想听关于祂更多的故事，去崇拜祂，同时认识同样信神的朋友。我发现这样能让我的精神世界得到升华。在这个世俗的世界里，每周5天工作日是很难像耶稣那样生活的。并不是教堂让人变得圣洁，最重要的是我们和耶稣的关系，包括祷告、听祂的故事或和祂那样的生活。
我知道要你们相信我今天所说的并不是一件容易的事，或许有些人会认为我见到神的经历只是幻觉，但是我知道耶稣是真的，这是为什么我总有热情把我的经历分享给尽可能多的人，不论他是不是教徒。我知道如果我们呼唤主耶稣祂一定会应答来帮助我们。
我知道很难说服特别是不信教的人，包括我的家人，而我也几乎花了27年才从回到上帝的怀抱，在神里“没有不可能”！
我愿以〈圣经〉里的经句来做结尾：
John 20:29
“Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed:
Blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.”
那些从未见过耶稣的信徒，他们有什么？
他们有信仰。
听过我见证的人或许会误以为他们也可等着见了神再信祂，但是神对每一个人的安排是独一而不同的。虽然我曾见着神， 但我也曾信仰动摇， 而主却是永远信实。我衷心感谢主恩， 和他在John 20:29的话语.
常听人说圣经是神的话语，我现在明白了， 而John 20:29在今天对我是如此的鲜活。
2nd Corinthians 5:7 他更确认“与神同在，只要信，不用见”。
“For we walk by faith, not by sight”.
接着你可能要问，我门如何会信？
Romans 10:17
“So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God”
信仰来自听， 听神的话。
圣经是神的话，活的话语。
最后，我愿分享《圣经》的经句，我自小就把它深藏心中。
John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
我祈祷主的恩慈在真与爱中予你平安.
以耶稣的名—阿门.
Regine
2007-3-5
今天，恰好是我的女儿Christy和我信仰Christ十周年纪念日）
时间追溯到我的童年，那时我还是一个小学生。我有一位老师，他几乎每周日都会给我讲述耶稣的故事。
在我的童年里，母亲病魔缠身，父亲不得不请来来自中国和马来西亚的灵媒为母亲和全家人驱疾避凶。通常当灵媒来我家时，全家人都会聚集到父母的房间里膜拜。我当时已经接触了神的话语，所以我坚持一个人独自在客厅里向上帝祷告。我的祈祷词是老师教我的：“耶稣在此，撒旦走开！”
由于家庭反对我的信仰，上初中后我热衷于学校的活动，祈祷也就越来越少，我与神渐渐疏远了。直到有一天，我向上帝祷告说除非他现身，否则我不再信仰他。从那时起，我不再每天祈祷，当时我大约13岁。
开始工作后， 我开始崇拜寺庙里的“中国神灵”。
曾有一位过去的同事为工作而困扰，我带她去了一个我常去膜拜的地方——“Waterloo Street Goddess of Mercy”寺庙去拜神。我们到那儿后，我把她介绍给了一个寺庙外面的算命女人，让她安排祈福以保护我的朋友不受外敌侵害。算命女人把我朋友的个人特征写在香纸上递给另一位女灵媒，然后把我们带到寺庙对面的HDB店内祈祷。祈祷的过程就是那个女灵媒点燃香纸，并在口中用中文叨念着乞求神灵让敌人远离我朋友的话。 我的朋友则一直跪在几尊“中国神灵”塑像前祷告。最后，我的朋友还脱了鞋，用鞋打那些香纸， 这个动作意味着“踢走敌人”。我每年的年底都作一次这样的祈祷仪式，因为别人说这叫“还愿”今年的平安，并祈来年继续保护我远离敌人。
我的一个海外朋友乐于寻访拜神的地方。一天我带她走遍了新加坡所有中国的寺庙。碰巧那天是Thaipusam我们就一起去了小印度街的一个印度寺庙观看Thaipusam的一些准备工作。那儿有些男士膜拜者用利器刺穿他们的舌头，面颊和身体，以此来还愿。
有时我会跟我的朋友去Novena教堂祷告，或到另一个基督教堂里参加过朋友的婚礼和洗礼。
一天，我的一个朋友向我宣扬基督教。我还记得当时我是多么不屑一顾的告诉她我对基督
教的了解比她要多，如果她的上帝是万能的，在她升天后请她从天堂扔一个梯子下来好让我爬上去。
在我记忆里，曾有27年我不反对任何人向自己信的神祷告，因为我相信每一个人都可以根据他们自己的习惯向同样的一个神祈祷。
我曾犯下罪，但我却没意识到那是罪。尽管我的良心告诉我这么做不对，但我还是不在乎，而没有一点罪恶感。
事实上， 从我刚满13岁时起，我就已漫无目标。但是以下我将与您分享的事件却改变了我的一生。
这些都发生于我在香港工作的时期。
1997年2月22日，星期六，我带着两个妹妹去香港知名的“Wong Tai Sing”寺庙做祈祷，那时我已经发现我怀孕了（但是我未结婚－这是我犯的一个罪，然而我当时并没有认识到这是一个罪），因此我还乞求我的孩子平安。
1997年2月25 日，星期二，我在首尔感染了病毒，我坚持着做完我的工作。
1997年2月28日，我回到香港。那晚我打电话给我香港唯一的一个朋友，他的妻子恰好在医院工作。我告诉他我的困境，我一天天地在衰弱，没有气力。但是那晚我没有去医院，因为我想不舒服可能是怀孕症状（我第一次怀孕，没有经验），所以我告诉他我能捱到第二天早上。
1997年3月1日，星期六，我住进了香港的一家医院，诊断为病毒感染，高烧39.5C。因为我已有5个星期的身孕，为了保护孩子，我的医生只能给我开最多两份退烧片。由於进食很少，我的左手挂上了点滴以补充能量。能量耗尽，住院期间的最后5天我瘦了5公斤，严重影响了我的胃口和行动，我完全躺在病床上挣扎。
在我住院的第三天早上（刚过午夜），我遇见了一些西方的精灵，这让我迷惑，但仍请求精灵们能帮助我康复，我很想和别人分享这经历，于是我打了一个越洋电话给我一位朋友，但是她却说：“Regine，你应该向神祷告。”
挂了电话后一会儿，同样的西方精灵又出现了，这次，我突然想起了小时候的祷告“耶稣在此，撒旦滚开！”我不断地念着这句话，几分钟后这些精灵消失了，我也精疲力竭马上睡着了。
早上醒来，我已忘了耶稣是怎样帮我摆脱那些精灵。我的病情并未改善，仍然高烧39.5度。
在我住院第五天的第一个小时，发生了改变我一生的事情。我看见了一道明亮的白光变换着不同的场景连续地出现在我眼前：
第一景：耶稣张开双臂站着
第二景：耶稣站在水中
第三景：耶稣在爬山
第四景：耶稣蹲下来，白色的羊群朝他走去
第五景：一个抱着小孩的女士
第六景：挥着翅膀的天使
第七景：耶稣再度出现，慢慢的他的肖像越来越小
这场景是如此的明亮，就像是在天堂。本能地，我认识到耶稣就是真神，我不自觉地从我嘴里念出：“感谢上帝原谅我的罪恶并把我带了回来，你如此伟大再给了我一次机会，从此刻起我和我的孩子将接受您为我们的救主！”
祂始终没有对我说话，但我能感觉到祂的存在，因为我的右手不由自主地向祂伸去。最后我双手合并在胸前，而我的左手还打着点滴。过后，我的全身经历了完全的平静，而这种感觉是过去从未有的，同时我感觉到我已痊愈了。
当护士再次测我体温时，我的体温居然从入院时第一次测量的39.5度下降了，医生和护士都说我奇迹般地痊愈了。我的状态一天天好起来，我告诉医生把我住院登记表中宗教一栏改为“基督教”（在我住院的第一天，我告诉护士写的是“无”）。第十天，我出院了。
我通过老同学加入了Grace Baptist 教堂，同时我也加入了由几个教堂成员组建的Caregroup。1998年，我们学习了一本书《感受上帝》，有一章说到“上帝有祂自己的时间”，我完全同意这一点，因为在我小时候，当我最需要他的时候，他出现回应了我小时候的祷告。
感谢上帝的恩慈，我的病并没有影响到我的女儿，她今年10岁了。在1999年的12月，我把我的经历分享给了一位来自中国的同事，2000年初，她写信告诉我她也信基督了，我真为她感到高兴并把这快乐和另一位基督教同事分享。这位同事问我是不是我把她带入了“罪人祷告”，直到她说起，这已是两年半后我这才明白，且意识到当我看到耶稣的时候，我确实做了“罪人祷告”，接受祂为我的救主。
在2000中国农历新年，我把我的经历跟一位牧师的寡妇分享，她问我：“〈耶稣站在水中〉这个景后是否有一个瀑布？”我喜极而泣，上帝把我带向和我有相同经历的人。她看见这个景很多次，第一次是小时候在教堂，而后很多次是在弹钢琴的时候。她还告诉我耶稣站在水中的场景是耶稣正在洗净我的罪恶，那是我为什么会感到美妙平静的原因。
曾经有一次我分享我的见证时，有人说，她信耶稣但是并不意味着必须去教堂展示出来，她所说的在某些程度上也是对的，因为信仰耶稣的每个人都有他自己和耶稣的独特关系。这不是宗教，我们在任何时间任何地点都可以向他祷告。
我到教堂的原因是想听关于祂更多的故事，去崇拜祂，同时认识同样信神的朋友。我发现这样能让我的精神世界得到升华。在这个世俗的世界里，每周5天工作日是很难像耶稣那样生活的。并不是教堂让人变得圣洁，最重要的是我们和耶稣的关系，包括祷告、听祂的故事或和祂那样的生活。
我知道要你们相信我今天所说的并不是一件容易的事，或许有些人会认为我见到神的经历只是幻觉，但是我知道耶稣是真的，这是为什么我总有热情把我的经历分享给尽可能多的人，不论他是不是教徒。我知道如果我们呼唤主耶稣祂一定会应答来帮助我们。
我知道很难说服特别是不信教的人，包括我的家人，而我也几乎花了27年才从回到上帝的怀抱，在神里“没有不可能”！
我愿以〈圣经〉里的经句来做结尾：
John 20:29
“Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed:
Blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.”
那些从未见过耶稣的信徒，他们有什么？
他们有信仰。
听过我见证的人或许会误以为他们也可等着见了神再信祂，但是神对每一个人的安排是独一而不同的。虽然我曾见着神， 但我也曾信仰动摇， 而主却是永远信实。我衷心感谢主恩， 和他在John 20:29的话语.
常听人说圣经是神的话语，我现在明白了， 而John 20:29在今天对我是如此的鲜活。
2nd Corinthians 5:7 他更确认“与神同在，只要信，不用见”。
“For we walk by faith, not by sight”.
接着你可能要问，我门如何会信？
Romans 10:17
“So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God”
信仰来自听， 听神的话。
圣经是神的话，活的话语。
最后，我愿分享《圣经》的经句，我自小就把它深藏心中。
John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
我祈祷主的恩慈在真与爱中予你平安.
以耶稣的名—阿门.
Regine
2007-3-5
今天，恰好是我的女儿Christy和我信仰Christ十周年纪念日）
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Last Moments with Mum
Good evening Uncles, Aunties, Cousins, Friends, Brothers & Sisters In-Christ.
Thank you so much for your presence, wreaths, condolences, donations, and prayer support during our bereavement for mum.
Mum had contracted liver cancer in Dec 2007. Through God’s grace, both my parents accepted Christ as their personal savior on 1 Jan 2008. Since then, they had been worshipping regularly every Sunday at Calvary Baptist Church Hokkien Service till the last two weeks when mum was too weak to attend service.
On Thursday night, 2 Apr 2009 I received a call from my 4th sister that mum was unconscious. Immediately, we packed and went to the airport about 1-1/2 hour before the midnight flight’s departure from Shanghai to Singapore. Fortunately, there were 2 seats available though not together as it was a full flight. My daughter was reluctant to go on the flight as she is not used to sitting alone on an airplane. But I told her we had to go. After the doors of the airplane closed, the air steward whom I had requested earlier for 2 seats together told me that we could move to the two seats at the front with longer leg room. My daughter was so glad as she could lie on mummy throughout the flight. The Lord’s grace is indeed amazing. He gifted the seats to us otherwise I could not imagine how Christy could sit alone throughout the whole flight.
Mum had actually waited for second sister, my eldest brother’s and my return. We returned first in the morning of Friday, 3 Apr 2009. My sister and her daughter returned from Australia in the afternoon. As for my eldest brother, he was not able to return in time to see mum for the last time and also to attend the funeral as the ship that he was working on, was at the Red Sea. We managed to contact him later that evening and he spoke to Mum for the last time.
Throughout the day, mum could only respond to us by shaking her left foot to indicate “Yes to something we asked” which my youngest sister told her to do. As mum loved “Coca Cola”, we asked her to indicate by moving her left foot if she wanted to drink “Coca Cola”. Surprisingly, she shook her left foot vigorously so we fed her “Coca Cola”. We could see that she was enjoying the drink by the way she was sipping it. This was why my eldest niece placed a can of “Coca Cola” on the table in front of mum’s funeral photo.
My eldest niece graduated last year. Instead of looking for a job, she chose to care for “Ah Ma” (Grandma) full time. None of us had asked her to. Her care and love for mum had put the children to shame. She was so gentle and attentive in her care and love for mum that the HCA Hospice Care who provided medical and nursing care for mum at home, would like to recruit her.
She placed alarms at her bedside, toilet, and dining table where mum usually moved around the house. Another person I would like to mention is our helper who has been with us for 7 years. She is truly a gem. She cleaned, bathed mum, and even put moisturizer for her. She would wheel her to hospital, church, and anywhere mum want to visit. Mum was indeed blessed to have my niece and helper cared for her throughout her illness.
Next day, 4 Apr 2009 at 6am, my 4th sister and eldest niece woke me as they were not sure if mum was in pain or breathless. My sisters and eldest niece did the night vigil while I did the day shift as we kept 24-hour vigil at mum’s bed side. They asked if they could give morphine drops to mum. When I looked at mum, I told them it should be alright as the morphine drops were to relieve her breathing.
Surprisingly, after mum was fed with the morphine drops, my 4th sister and eldest niece laid down to rest. My 3rd sister was with me. As it’s already morning, I washed up and went to mum’s bed side to pray for her. I prayed in our dialect, Teochew for about half hour till about 7:00 am. In fact, it was my longest prayer ever in Teochew. I was actually surprised that I could pray for such a long time in our dialect which I am not proficient. Just before I ended the prayer, I saw a vision of Christ carrying mum with both hands. The vision really comforted me. When I said “Amen” at the end of the prayer, mum also said “Amen” that surprised both my 3rd sister who was standing at the end of the bed and myself. Also, just before my prayer ended, mum’s toxic blood was slowly drained off from a small tube inserted through her nose.
My 3rd sister had to leave to fetch my brother in-law at 7:00 am. Suddenly, I realized that I was the only one awoke accompanying mum. All this while, the DVD player was playing Hokkien (also a Chinese dialect) hymns in the background. The music disc was given to my parents from a brother in-Christ. I took the lyrics book to try to sing-a-long for mum. At first, I tried to sing in Hokkien by reading the Romanized English letters. However, as my Hokkien is so limited, I did not understand the meaning. So I tried to sing the hymns in Mandarin instead. Surprisingly, when the song played the hymn, “牵我的手我的主啊“, translated “Hold my hand, My Lord”, the vision of Christ carrying mum appeared again. I looked at mum. To me, she was sleeping soundly and sweetly.
A week ago, I was back in Singapore for our niece wedding. Mum was very bony but when I saw her sleeping, she seemed to have put some weight on her face. Also, her hands had become smoother than before. I did not want to wake mum as she had kept awake since Thursday to wait for our return and was exhausted. Instead I just stroke her fingers and continued with the singing of the hymns.
Then the next hymn, “十字架…我的罪都洗清洁, 惟靠耶稣宝血” translated “At the Cross, my sin is cleansed by the blood of Christ” was playing. When I sang, I just felt that Christ was telling me in a small voice that He had taken mum away. I looked at mum again. She looked to me like she was sleeping. I stroke her fingers and they were warm.
Then the next hymn, “我们带着感恩心,来到了神的家中”, translated “With a grateful heart, we arrived at the Lord’s home” was played. My sister had alerted me that mum’s last sign of death would be vomiting of blood. But there was no such sign. At that time, I had a strange feeling the Lord was telling me that He had just taken mum home.
I could not believe that mum had left with the Lord as there was no sign of blood or her struggling. Immediately, I felt for her pulse. It felt like she was breathing. Then, I felt for pulse at her right neck. By then, I am not too sure if she was breathing or not.
As mum had stayed awake for almost 24 hours awaiting for our return, I wanted her to rest so I did not try to wake her. Instead I called my 4th sister. My 4th sister is smarter than me. She felt her nose for breath. Her scream for mum brought all the people into the room. Mum’s body and hands were still warm. I was actually quite surprised how calm and peaceful mum had left with the Lord without my knowledge. The peace I had at that time also surprised me as I did not even know mum had left with the Lord. To me, she was sleeping. If I was not prompted by the hymns and the visions, I would have sung till the end of the last song on the disc.
It’s only on the 3rd day of mum’s demise that it dawned on me that the Lord not only took mum away peacefully during her sleep but the Lord had also graciously prepared me for the loss of mum with the peace that transcends all understanding.
God is indeed merciful and gracious to mum that she did not suffer much pain throughout the year’s ordeal, except for breathlessness during her last days. Mum had enjoyed much love, friendship, and fellowship with the brothers and sisters in-Christ for the past year. I know mum is now with the Lord and I know we will meet her again. Mum, we miss you. You will stay in our hearts forever.
Thank you so much for your presence, wreaths, condolences, donations, and prayer support during our bereavement for mum.
Mum had contracted liver cancer in Dec 2007. Through God’s grace, both my parents accepted Christ as their personal savior on 1 Jan 2008. Since then, they had been worshipping regularly every Sunday at Calvary Baptist Church Hokkien Service till the last two weeks when mum was too weak to attend service.
On Thursday night, 2 Apr 2009 I received a call from my 4th sister that mum was unconscious. Immediately, we packed and went to the airport about 1-1/2 hour before the midnight flight’s departure from Shanghai to Singapore. Fortunately, there were 2 seats available though not together as it was a full flight. My daughter was reluctant to go on the flight as she is not used to sitting alone on an airplane. But I told her we had to go. After the doors of the airplane closed, the air steward whom I had requested earlier for 2 seats together told me that we could move to the two seats at the front with longer leg room. My daughter was so glad as she could lie on mummy throughout the flight. The Lord’s grace is indeed amazing. He gifted the seats to us otherwise I could not imagine how Christy could sit alone throughout the whole flight.
Mum had actually waited for second sister, my eldest brother’s and my return. We returned first in the morning of Friday, 3 Apr 2009. My sister and her daughter returned from Australia in the afternoon. As for my eldest brother, he was not able to return in time to see mum for the last time and also to attend the funeral as the ship that he was working on, was at the Red Sea. We managed to contact him later that evening and he spoke to Mum for the last time.
Throughout the day, mum could only respond to us by shaking her left foot to indicate “Yes to something we asked” which my youngest sister told her to do. As mum loved “Coca Cola”, we asked her to indicate by moving her left foot if she wanted to drink “Coca Cola”. Surprisingly, she shook her left foot vigorously so we fed her “Coca Cola”. We could see that she was enjoying the drink by the way she was sipping it. This was why my eldest niece placed a can of “Coca Cola” on the table in front of mum’s funeral photo.
My eldest niece graduated last year. Instead of looking for a job, she chose to care for “Ah Ma” (Grandma) full time. None of us had asked her to. Her care and love for mum had put the children to shame. She was so gentle and attentive in her care and love for mum that the HCA Hospice Care who provided medical and nursing care for mum at home, would like to recruit her.
She placed alarms at her bedside, toilet, and dining table where mum usually moved around the house. Another person I would like to mention is our helper who has been with us for 7 years. She is truly a gem. She cleaned, bathed mum, and even put moisturizer for her. She would wheel her to hospital, church, and anywhere mum want to visit. Mum was indeed blessed to have my niece and helper cared for her throughout her illness.
Next day, 4 Apr 2009 at 6am, my 4th sister and eldest niece woke me as they were not sure if mum was in pain or breathless. My sisters and eldest niece did the night vigil while I did the day shift as we kept 24-hour vigil at mum’s bed side. They asked if they could give morphine drops to mum. When I looked at mum, I told them it should be alright as the morphine drops were to relieve her breathing.
Surprisingly, after mum was fed with the morphine drops, my 4th sister and eldest niece laid down to rest. My 3rd sister was with me. As it’s already morning, I washed up and went to mum’s bed side to pray for her. I prayed in our dialect, Teochew for about half hour till about 7:00 am. In fact, it was my longest prayer ever in Teochew. I was actually surprised that I could pray for such a long time in our dialect which I am not proficient. Just before I ended the prayer, I saw a vision of Christ carrying mum with both hands. The vision really comforted me. When I said “Amen” at the end of the prayer, mum also said “Amen” that surprised both my 3rd sister who was standing at the end of the bed and myself. Also, just before my prayer ended, mum’s toxic blood was slowly drained off from a small tube inserted through her nose.
My 3rd sister had to leave to fetch my brother in-law at 7:00 am. Suddenly, I realized that I was the only one awoke accompanying mum. All this while, the DVD player was playing Hokkien (also a Chinese dialect) hymns in the background. The music disc was given to my parents from a brother in-Christ. I took the lyrics book to try to sing-a-long for mum. At first, I tried to sing in Hokkien by reading the Romanized English letters. However, as my Hokkien is so limited, I did not understand the meaning. So I tried to sing the hymns in Mandarin instead. Surprisingly, when the song played the hymn, “牵我的手我的主啊“, translated “Hold my hand, My Lord”, the vision of Christ carrying mum appeared again. I looked at mum. To me, she was sleeping soundly and sweetly.
A week ago, I was back in Singapore for our niece wedding. Mum was very bony but when I saw her sleeping, she seemed to have put some weight on her face. Also, her hands had become smoother than before. I did not want to wake mum as she had kept awake since Thursday to wait for our return and was exhausted. Instead I just stroke her fingers and continued with the singing of the hymns.
Then the next hymn, “十字架…我的罪都洗清洁, 惟靠耶稣宝血” translated “At the Cross, my sin is cleansed by the blood of Christ” was playing. When I sang, I just felt that Christ was telling me in a small voice that He had taken mum away. I looked at mum again. She looked to me like she was sleeping. I stroke her fingers and they were warm.
Then the next hymn, “我们带着感恩心,来到了神的家中”, translated “With a grateful heart, we arrived at the Lord’s home” was played. My sister had alerted me that mum’s last sign of death would be vomiting of blood. But there was no such sign. At that time, I had a strange feeling the Lord was telling me that He had just taken mum home.
I could not believe that mum had left with the Lord as there was no sign of blood or her struggling. Immediately, I felt for her pulse. It felt like she was breathing. Then, I felt for pulse at her right neck. By then, I am not too sure if she was breathing or not.
As mum had stayed awake for almost 24 hours awaiting for our return, I wanted her to rest so I did not try to wake her. Instead I called my 4th sister. My 4th sister is smarter than me. She felt her nose for breath. Her scream for mum brought all the people into the room. Mum’s body and hands were still warm. I was actually quite surprised how calm and peaceful mum had left with the Lord without my knowledge. The peace I had at that time also surprised me as I did not even know mum had left with the Lord. To me, she was sleeping. If I was not prompted by the hymns and the visions, I would have sung till the end of the last song on the disc.
It’s only on the 3rd day of mum’s demise that it dawned on me that the Lord not only took mum away peacefully during her sleep but the Lord had also graciously prepared me for the loss of mum with the peace that transcends all understanding.
God is indeed merciful and gracious to mum that she did not suffer much pain throughout the year’s ordeal, except for breathlessness during her last days. Mum had enjoyed much love, friendship, and fellowship with the brothers and sisters in-Christ for the past year. I know mum is now with the Lord and I know we will meet her again. Mum, we miss you. You will stay in our hearts forever.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Greatest Gift of the Year!
Sharing at Grace Baptist Church Congregation Prayer on 25th January 2008
Greatest Gift of the Year 2008!
Good evening,
On 18th December, Mum was diagnosed with advanced liver cancer. The next oncologist’s appointment was 18th January but she did not go as she did not want any treatment.
Her rationale was she is already 70 and it’s fortunate she is able to live up to this age. Why should she be going through the chemotherapy when she knows that she will eventually not able to escape death? Finally she requested us not to force her instead to let her make her own decision to let life takes its own course.
On Christmas Eve, 24th December, I sent a prayer request to Wing Cheong, the administrator of Grace Baptist Church (GBC) to be posted on Watchman for prayer coverage of mum’s illness.
On Boxing Day, 26th December, I was told that I need to buy fire insurance for my apartment to be effective 1st January. It’s only 5 days left and it’s a period when most people were having their holiday breaks. Somehow, Khoon Guan, my neighbour came to my mind to seek for his advice on insurance.
I knew Khoon Guan a little better recently since I became member of our estate’s management council last year. He is also a member so we met during meetings. It was during one of our conversations that I found out he is a Christian and that he also knew a number of members of GBC. He has an insurance broking company so I sent him an email on Boxing Day requesting for his advice on fire insurance.
He came over to our home on the same night to discuss the fire insurance coverage. As my parents were at home and it was the first time he met them, he asked about their well being so I told him about them being non believers and mum’s illness.
Before he left that night, he asked if he could have his Chinese Service Pastor Peter Lin of Calvary Baptist Church to visit us and pray for mum. Surprisingly, Pastor Peter Lin had preached a year at GBC Chinese Worship Service. As I attended only English Worship Service, I did not see him much except occasionally along the stairway to and from the sanctuary, whereby we exchanged greetings.
While serving at GBC, Pastor Peter Lin had called me twice before to arrange an appointment to visit my parents. He had my mobile number from Mr. Teo, a Chinese Service member who was learning to play a Chinese musical instrument called “Er Hu” with dad every Saturday for about two months at GBC however Dad did not attend worship service at GBC. The dates suggested by Pastor Peter Lin were not convenient so the visit did not happen. Since then, Pastor Peter Lin had left GBC for more than a year.
On 27th December, Khoon Guan spoke to Pastor Peter Lin about mum and passed Pastor Peter Lin’s telephone number to me. I contacted him on the same day to arrange a visit to our home.
On New Year’s Eve, 31st Dec, Mr Teo called and asked if he could visit us with Pastor Peter Lin on New Year’s Day. I was surprised to receive a call from Mr. Teo as I had not seen him and his wife for almost a year at GBC. Mr Teo then told me he had been attending Calvary Baptist Church for the past year. Coincidentally, Dad knew Mr Teo through the “Er Hu” lessons at GBC.
Both dad and mum are very reserved in nature and do not socialize much. They had heard about the gospel several times but did not accept Christ as their savior. Mum did accept Christ as her personal savior about 5 years ago however Dad refused to accept Christ on that very day even though he knew mum accepted. Somehow a year later, she returned to praying to the “Goddess of Mercy” at the Waterloo Street temple twice a month, on the 1st and 15th of the Lunar Calendar month and every day at home. Dad is usually the adamant one. He believes every religion’s teachings meant well and as long as he does no harm to people, he should be fine.
However since we knew mum’s illness on 18th December, I have been going to my parents’ room each night to pray for mum at bedtime. For a few nights, I was late in praying and Dad reminded me to pray for her. I was actually surprised over his anxiousness since.
On New Year’s Day, Pastor Peter Lin and Mr Teo came with their spouses. Pastor Peter Lin shared the gospel with them. I was so filled with joy as I had not ever thought that my parents will accept Christ on that day especially dad.
Khoon Guan was indeed God-send. It was through him that we were reconnected to Pastor Peter Lin and Mr. Teo. It was God’s plan and timing that within a short span of a week, all events just took place so perfectly leading to my parents’ salvation.
I was asking myself, “Why did God choose to answer my prayer at this time?”
One primary reason I know for certain is the “Power of Prayer”. I knew many of you had prayed for mum through my prayer request distributed on Watchman Prayer and the Care groups’ mailing lists. God had heard our prayers and He answered it!
Mum told me after her acceptance of Christ as her Savior on New Year’s Day that she will go with me only once to the church. I told her to try going to the church first. Praise God that mum and dad have already attended the Hokkien service at Calvary Baptist Church for 3 consecutive Sundays. They can grasp about 30% to 50% of the worship message because Hokkien is a bit similar to Teochew despite their illiteracy in Mandarin.
The pastor’s wife, Su Chen has been following up with mum and dad every Thursday morning since New Year’s Day.
On the night of Thursday, 17th January’s follow up by the pastor’s wife, Mum told me about Su Chen’s suggestion of them getting baptized on Easter Sunday, 23rd March. Mum felt it’s too early to be baptized. So I asked dad about his opinion but dad says he will baptize same day as mum.
On 19th January, mum and dad had been invited to the Pastor’s house for Macpherson Senior Citizens fellowship. I went along with them. It’s so good to see my parents socializing as they have always been so reserved. It’s so wonderful that God provided Mr and Mrs Teo who have been a great help in making them feel at home whenever they meet.
Last Sunday, 20th January, I told them that I cannot go to church with them as I have to accompany Christy for her class. I thought they would not go to church since I will not be with them but surprisingly, they let me drop them off at church.
On that evening, Dad told me that mum stood up during the Hokkien Fellowship service when the fellowship leader asked for any prayer request. Mum had requested for prayer for healing of her advanced liver cancer. Mum had not accepted the illness since the diagnosis so dad was surprised that she stood up and declared that the doctor told her about her illness and asked the members to pray for her. I am so grateful to God for mum’s courage and her trust for prayers for Christ healing. Dad also said that mum told him that her “Goddess of Mercy” has allowed her to be baptized on 23rd March. While I was elated over the news that she is willing to be baptized but at the same time I prayed that mum will not confuse the Almighty God, Jesus Christ with her “Goddess of Mercy”.
Mum has not complained of any pain so far except on Tuesday night, 22nd January during the bedtime prayer with her, she requested for Christ’s healing for relief of her occasional back pain. I have not heard about the back pain before. The next morning, 23rd January, my colleague told me her grandma passed away from liver cancer and she was on morphine for 4 months due to acute back pain. The word “back pain” makes me nervous as I heard it just the night before from mum. Is mum slowly fading? But I tell myself that the Lord had already given the greatest gift of salvation to her so why am I having cold feet and not willing to face the fact?
Yesterday morning, 24th January, Dr. Chuah of Tan Tock Seng Hospital called and spoke to me about mum’s situation as mum missed her appointment on 18th January. He told me that her cancer has entered the blood vessel and she may only last 3 months to a year if left untreated. He advised that if treated, it may extend her life for a year or more.
Last evening at dinner, I told mum that Dr. Chuah called. Instantly, she asked me to ignore him and refused to listen further. I was afraid that mum could also be thinking about the cost of treatment which may have affected her decision not to seek treatment as her mahjong friends told her that they heard about such treatment being costly and had placed burden on the family. I knew mum cares for us but I was also worried that because of the cost, she refuses to seek treatment so I need to reassure her again that the costs will be covered by the medical insurance. Still she refused to hear further.
When I went to do my bedtime prayer for her last night, surprisingly she asked me what Dr. Chuah told about her. Yet after listening, she still does not want to seek treatment. The good news is she said she will continue to pray to Jesus to heal her and she will also pray that her children will also accept Jesus as their Savior.
Dad and my siblings have agreed to respect mum’s wish of not seeking treatment. As for me, I am still confused but I cannot force her to seek treatment as I heard of cases of treatment which actually aggravated the illness but if she does not seek treatment, she is not going to last long. I am totally lost as to what should I do?
I can only pray for the Lord’s mercy that He will heal mum and remove any suffering from her. I thank you all for your prayers for mum and may I request for your continued prayer support for her. Meanwhile, I am continuing to claim on the Lord’s promise in His Word:
Matthew 18:19-20"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
Thank you.
In Jesus Love,
Regine
Greatest Gift of the Year 2008!
Good evening,
On 18th December, Mum was diagnosed with advanced liver cancer. The next oncologist’s appointment was 18th January but she did not go as she did not want any treatment.
Her rationale was she is already 70 and it’s fortunate she is able to live up to this age. Why should she be going through the chemotherapy when she knows that she will eventually not able to escape death? Finally she requested us not to force her instead to let her make her own decision to let life takes its own course.
On Christmas Eve, 24th December, I sent a prayer request to Wing Cheong, the administrator of Grace Baptist Church (GBC) to be posted on Watchman for prayer coverage of mum’s illness.
On Boxing Day, 26th December, I was told that I need to buy fire insurance for my apartment to be effective 1st January. It’s only 5 days left and it’s a period when most people were having their holiday breaks. Somehow, Khoon Guan, my neighbour came to my mind to seek for his advice on insurance.
I knew Khoon Guan a little better recently since I became member of our estate’s management council last year. He is also a member so we met during meetings. It was during one of our conversations that I found out he is a Christian and that he also knew a number of members of GBC. He has an insurance broking company so I sent him an email on Boxing Day requesting for his advice on fire insurance.
He came over to our home on the same night to discuss the fire insurance coverage. As my parents were at home and it was the first time he met them, he asked about their well being so I told him about them being non believers and mum’s illness.
Before he left that night, he asked if he could have his Chinese Service Pastor Peter Lin of Calvary Baptist Church to visit us and pray for mum. Surprisingly, Pastor Peter Lin had preached a year at GBC Chinese Worship Service. As I attended only English Worship Service, I did not see him much except occasionally along the stairway to and from the sanctuary, whereby we exchanged greetings.
While serving at GBC, Pastor Peter Lin had called me twice before to arrange an appointment to visit my parents. He had my mobile number from Mr. Teo, a Chinese Service member who was learning to play a Chinese musical instrument called “Er Hu” with dad every Saturday for about two months at GBC however Dad did not attend worship service at GBC. The dates suggested by Pastor Peter Lin were not convenient so the visit did not happen. Since then, Pastor Peter Lin had left GBC for more than a year.
On 27th December, Khoon Guan spoke to Pastor Peter Lin about mum and passed Pastor Peter Lin’s telephone number to me. I contacted him on the same day to arrange a visit to our home.
On New Year’s Eve, 31st Dec, Mr Teo called and asked if he could visit us with Pastor Peter Lin on New Year’s Day. I was surprised to receive a call from Mr. Teo as I had not seen him and his wife for almost a year at GBC. Mr Teo then told me he had been attending Calvary Baptist Church for the past year. Coincidentally, Dad knew Mr Teo through the “Er Hu” lessons at GBC.
Both dad and mum are very reserved in nature and do not socialize much. They had heard about the gospel several times but did not accept Christ as their savior. Mum did accept Christ as her personal savior about 5 years ago however Dad refused to accept Christ on that very day even though he knew mum accepted. Somehow a year later, she returned to praying to the “Goddess of Mercy” at the Waterloo Street temple twice a month, on the 1st and 15th of the Lunar Calendar month and every day at home. Dad is usually the adamant one. He believes every religion’s teachings meant well and as long as he does no harm to people, he should be fine.
However since we knew mum’s illness on 18th December, I have been going to my parents’ room each night to pray for mum at bedtime. For a few nights, I was late in praying and Dad reminded me to pray for her. I was actually surprised over his anxiousness since.
On New Year’s Day, Pastor Peter Lin and Mr Teo came with their spouses. Pastor Peter Lin shared the gospel with them. I was so filled with joy as I had not ever thought that my parents will accept Christ on that day especially dad.
Khoon Guan was indeed God-send. It was through him that we were reconnected to Pastor Peter Lin and Mr. Teo. It was God’s plan and timing that within a short span of a week, all events just took place so perfectly leading to my parents’ salvation.
I was asking myself, “Why did God choose to answer my prayer at this time?”
One primary reason I know for certain is the “Power of Prayer”. I knew many of you had prayed for mum through my prayer request distributed on Watchman Prayer and the Care groups’ mailing lists. God had heard our prayers and He answered it!
Mum told me after her acceptance of Christ as her Savior on New Year’s Day that she will go with me only once to the church. I told her to try going to the church first. Praise God that mum and dad have already attended the Hokkien service at Calvary Baptist Church for 3 consecutive Sundays. They can grasp about 30% to 50% of the worship message because Hokkien is a bit similar to Teochew despite their illiteracy in Mandarin.
The pastor’s wife, Su Chen has been following up with mum and dad every Thursday morning since New Year’s Day.
On the night of Thursday, 17th January’s follow up by the pastor’s wife, Mum told me about Su Chen’s suggestion of them getting baptized on Easter Sunday, 23rd March. Mum felt it’s too early to be baptized. So I asked dad about his opinion but dad says he will baptize same day as mum.
On 19th January, mum and dad had been invited to the Pastor’s house for Macpherson Senior Citizens fellowship. I went along with them. It’s so good to see my parents socializing as they have always been so reserved. It’s so wonderful that God provided Mr and Mrs Teo who have been a great help in making them feel at home whenever they meet.
Last Sunday, 20th January, I told them that I cannot go to church with them as I have to accompany Christy for her class. I thought they would not go to church since I will not be with them but surprisingly, they let me drop them off at church.
On that evening, Dad told me that mum stood up during the Hokkien Fellowship service when the fellowship leader asked for any prayer request. Mum had requested for prayer for healing of her advanced liver cancer. Mum had not accepted the illness since the diagnosis so dad was surprised that she stood up and declared that the doctor told her about her illness and asked the members to pray for her. I am so grateful to God for mum’s courage and her trust for prayers for Christ healing. Dad also said that mum told him that her “Goddess of Mercy” has allowed her to be baptized on 23rd March. While I was elated over the news that she is willing to be baptized but at the same time I prayed that mum will not confuse the Almighty God, Jesus Christ with her “Goddess of Mercy”.
Mum has not complained of any pain so far except on Tuesday night, 22nd January during the bedtime prayer with her, she requested for Christ’s healing for relief of her occasional back pain. I have not heard about the back pain before. The next morning, 23rd January, my colleague told me her grandma passed away from liver cancer and she was on morphine for 4 months due to acute back pain. The word “back pain” makes me nervous as I heard it just the night before from mum. Is mum slowly fading? But I tell myself that the Lord had already given the greatest gift of salvation to her so why am I having cold feet and not willing to face the fact?
Yesterday morning, 24th January, Dr. Chuah of Tan Tock Seng Hospital called and spoke to me about mum’s situation as mum missed her appointment on 18th January. He told me that her cancer has entered the blood vessel and she may only last 3 months to a year if left untreated. He advised that if treated, it may extend her life for a year or more.
Last evening at dinner, I told mum that Dr. Chuah called. Instantly, she asked me to ignore him and refused to listen further. I was afraid that mum could also be thinking about the cost of treatment which may have affected her decision not to seek treatment as her mahjong friends told her that they heard about such treatment being costly and had placed burden on the family. I knew mum cares for us but I was also worried that because of the cost, she refuses to seek treatment so I need to reassure her again that the costs will be covered by the medical insurance. Still she refused to hear further.
When I went to do my bedtime prayer for her last night, surprisingly she asked me what Dr. Chuah told about her. Yet after listening, she still does not want to seek treatment. The good news is she said she will continue to pray to Jesus to heal her and she will also pray that her children will also accept Jesus as their Savior.
Dad and my siblings have agreed to respect mum’s wish of not seeking treatment. As for me, I am still confused but I cannot force her to seek treatment as I heard of cases of treatment which actually aggravated the illness but if she does not seek treatment, she is not going to last long. I am totally lost as to what should I do?
I can only pray for the Lord’s mercy that He will heal mum and remove any suffering from her. I thank you all for your prayers for mum and may I request for your continued prayer support for her. Meanwhile, I am continuing to claim on the Lord’s promise in His Word:
Matthew 18:19-20"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
Thank you.
In Jesus Love,
Regine
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